School Started...

EID MUBARAK EID MUBARAK EID MUBARAK EID MUBARAK

First of all, Eid Mubarak! If you can't see the excitement above. The days after the first day of school and wearing a hijab are significant, but I just got overwhelmed with work and Eid Celebrations. So this might be long.

Friday was the second day to wear the hijab. Walking out the door, I didn't quickly start reading a bunch of surahs, I just walked out with a little more confidence than I had the day before. Feeling a little not cool, since I chose to wear the same exact hijab, but it was matching my awesome purple shirt. So why not! It was a smooth day, the one of the few people to even question me about my change was a friend who simply asked if there is a certain age that one starts wearing it. And I just told him that it is my choice. And then my other friend asked me if I'm just gonna be 'rocking hijabs' everyday from now? And I said yes, and we talked about how I came to this decision. And after that my friend, Kathy, came home with me to experience the mosque! Knowing its a Friday, I was afraid for her on how crowded the place will be. Going to the mosque was nice, because that way when we were there, no questions were asked about why I had a hijab on, because after all we are in the mosque. I was super excited that my friend came that night! Usually I wait for people to ask a question and I let them know, but this time, I felt like I was just blabbing away, feeling proud that Ramadan is upon us and I am able to completely change myself because of this month! Nothing more than just hanging out with my sister and brother! It was a great feeling to come back home, even though I had only been gone since Wednesday!

Saturday was totally unplanned. Kathy and I were suppose to head back to college, but Mom convinced us to stay another night. This day was interesting, because we were going to go shopping, and that means I was going to have to present myself in a hijab in front of my mother. She took it a lot more well than I had expected, but I half think it was because of Kathy being there. But more importantly, on this day, I finally decided how I wanted to handle my future. Gave myself so much relief to know that I won't be taking the MCAT until next year. I got my phone exchanged and hung out at Sam's Club. Sam's Club was the worst idea ever! For some reason they had decided to bring out all of the samples possible, but I was fasting of course. And the reason for staying was because there was an iftar/dinner at some one's house. So Kathy got to experience the Brown kind of party also! I was a little nervous about this one also, because it was the first time all of my brown friends will realize that I wear a hijab now. And just like all of the people that I pass in college...they did not ask me a single question. I was almost surprised, but glad! I felt like I was accepted for however I chose to dress that day, and there were no restrictions. It was a great day and night.

Sunday, we finally were able to head back to college. It definitely felt like a long weekend, but I had tons of fun! My dad was very nice to me and concerned, and this was after I said I'm going to be taking a year off from schooling! It just felt like I finally made my decision and to some extent he is happy for me! Not to put a negative connotation about the situation between me and my mother, I actually think she is the nicer parent, but her reaction towards me wearing a hijab has become into some kind of internal struggle I have to overcome with her and convince her that I truly made the right decision. As I was leaving for school, she walked passed me with a disgusted face and said "take it off." I know she loves me and just wants what is best for me, but sometimes one has to make a decision that they think is best for their future.

Monday! Back to school and ready to be in the groove! So today, the highlight of my day was that I wore a pink shirt with some brown on it, with a yellow scarf with brown on it. Clearly my matching skills suck at this point. I don't know if it was just me, but I just was so afraid that the Pink and Yellow were clashing hard core! Regardless, my boss told me that she likes this scarf! That was exciting. And in general, it was just another normal day! In fact, it was the very last day to fast in Ramadan. It was kind of exciting, because the next day will be Eid. Disappointed/Sad that I didn't get to spend the night at home, for I had classes the next morning, but instead I had my own party. To celebrate the end of Ramadan, had some good food. And watched Devil wears prada! It was fun, and it made me glad that I didn't end up going home that night.

Tuesday was Eid! I usually am never afraid to show off my Indian clothes to the world, but that day I was a little reluctant to wear my entire new Eid outfit. And was a little sad that I can't show off my awesome hair or even need to have some trouble finding matching earrings. But then I covered my head and put on the pants, and I still looked good! It was a not-so exciting morning that I had to make exciting. So I prayed Eid-ul-Fitr prayer in my room, all alone. But then checked out Einstein Bros. Bagel and bought myself some breakfast. Walking out of the student center with a drink in my hand made me feel so powerful, like look guys, I have a drink in my hand and food! That's right, this girl!! So that was my excitement. And then when I was sitting in class and totally paying attention to nothing. And someone taps me on the shoulder, and I turn around, and this brown girl just told me Eid Mubarak. Bam. That was it! This is why I wanted to wear a hijab, so that I don't ever have to speak for myself. I will let my actions and appearance scream "I'm a Muslim." And that is exactly what happened. My guess is that she was from India and is Hindu because she wasn't dressed up on this day. But the fact that she could pinpoint me as the Muslim and tell me Eid Mubarak, being a complete stranger to her, made me no longer feel like the hypocrite I had been feeling for the past few weeks. Once she told me Eid Mubarak, I knew that I had done the right thing. That was my sign from Allah (swt). Later I went home, and I think it finally hit everyone that I wear the hijab now. And they suggested to throw a party and everyone was very supportive.

Wednesday morning I came back from home. I felt great, and confident. I felt like I had the perfect match going on with my clothes and hijab, and I just was finally done struggling about whether I had taken the right decision or not. And now, I felt like it would be a mistake to turn back. This night I also went to a Bible study (hear me out on this one). It was my old roommate who was getting a couple of girls together to basically hang out. Later I found out it was a Bible study, but nonetheless I felt like it should be worth the experience, and it is with all of my friends, so no harm at all! We went around in a circle and talked about what we are struggling with. I quickly realized I had way too much to share, but I did share nonetheless. I usually never ever cry, but that group, the atmosphere..I found myself having to laugh so I could stop my tears when I was talking about the struggle that I am having to go through with my Mom accepting my decision. And I definitely feel that I got a huge burden off of myself, then later they shared some Biblical verses. And I asked if next time I can share some verses from the Quarn, and all agreed! So that's what I'll be doing! And all in all this was a good day, I talked a lot! And also found out that there are Internships that match my idea. So my future plans can happen!! And I feel like I became closer to a friend that I wasn't as close to before.

Thursday, which is today. Which brings this journey to 7 days!! My bad habit of waking up for a psychology class five minutes before the class time began today. Felt like school is for real now! And then got to class a little late, but I don't think it was a problem. My professor is from India, and today, for some reason his accent was thick as ever. It could be due to the fact that when I talked to my Dad about this professor on Tuesday, the first thing he asked was whether he has thick Indian accent which is hard to understand. And I said no, it's actually not that bad. But today, when he said "love," I felt like I spoke too soon. And then we had some discussion, and he assumed I wasn't born in America. And I half think it was because of the hijab. He probably thought that an American born would never do that. Not sure, just funny how he assumed I wasn't born in America. Today was a big day! I turned in an application to volunteer at the local hospital and I'm starting a business to raise money for Somalia. I'm going to do what I do best! Henna!! The potential to do good things seems so high, and I want to say that the past 7 days have been a journey! And can't wait to experience more!

Updates will be sooner than a week though! Promise!

Thanks for reading :)